White coat. Heels.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
