We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
