the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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