I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
