you would pick up someone in the library
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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