Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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