Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Mom said you looked used
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
