I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
