okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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