Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
