things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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