Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
