Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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