i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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