Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
