My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
