spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
