y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
