My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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