Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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