I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
