i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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