that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
