Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
