You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's blow job season.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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