I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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