Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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