mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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