Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
