i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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