Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
There's even glitter on my cock...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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