non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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