Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
