office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
