it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
