Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
