you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
