just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
