Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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