I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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