in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
