no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We left an ass print on the piano.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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