Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
