Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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