I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
