Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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