I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
