OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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