OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
