the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
