i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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