Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
