# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
3 2 1 whiskey
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
