i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Semen is not good for contacts.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize