Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
