I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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