oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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