i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
