Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
