she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You took a bar mat shot.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize