a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
