she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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