What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize