I got chris browned last night
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
