I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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