Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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