my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
