Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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