Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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