I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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