yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
