I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize