I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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