I am spending my child support on dildos
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
