ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
